I'm not much of a tourist. You know, that guy who gets out his guidebook and goes to museums and churches and finds that statue of Peter Pan that they have in Hyde Park for whatever reason. I'm just not tourist guy, as Jim Rome would say. I hate Jim Rome. I've spent too much time in foreign cities to bother being a tourist, I live here, why should I bother with that nonsense?

Still, I'm in a foreign city and don't have much to do yet, so what do I do? Well mostly I just walk around. There is nothing so invigorating as a nice 4 hour stroll through the streets and parks of London. I also spend quite a bit of time sitting on benches watching the world go by. I always feel like I look a little crazy doing it, but it's fun.

You see, there's only 4 kinds of people who sit on benches alone:
1. The cell phone typists, poking away at some sort of "text message," which I don't get.
2. Old People. These people have life figured out. It's a pleasant way to while away the day.
3. Bums. They sort of have it figured out, they're just hanging out doing whatever. But they usually look pretty depressed. That's the problem with bums, it's hard to enjoy being lazy when you're hungry.
4. Smokers. These are the people who really have life figured out. Taking any excuse to take a few minutes off, sitting pensively.

My problem is that I'm not one of these people. I have a cell phone, but have nothing to say to anyone on it. I won't be old for some time. I'm not a bum yet, though in some senses I'm moving in that direction. I would probably take up smoking if it wasn't so damned expensive. Do you have any idea how much a pack of cigarettes costs in this country?